Planting Seeds: How Being Authentic Creates Lasting Change in Others

Originally posted on Medium https://medium.com/@mireille.miskulin/planting-seeds-how-being-authentic-creates-lasting-change-in-others-148d34756197

Someone recently told me they were carrying forward the integrity and care they experienced while working with me. This stopped me in my tracks.

There was a time in my life when I really needed support.I didn’t need another tool or framework. I didn’t need advice.

What I needed was someone to say:“You’re not alone.”“You’re doing the best you can.”“It’s okay to be where you are.”But no one said that.I had no mentor.No guide.

No one holding space for the fear and pressure I was carrying.And that absence — that hunger for care — stayed with me.It became a quiet turning point. I realized: if I ever had the chance to be that person for someone else — someone who could offer presence, not just direction — I would show up with everything I had.

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🛠️ Why Tools Alone Don’t Transform In coaching and mentoring, we often default to techniques.We analyze strengths and weaknesses. We set goals. We track outcomes.And yes — all of that can be helpful. But lasting change doesn’t come from a checklist. It comes from something deeper:

Being seen, feeling safe, feeling believed in.

That’s what I craved back then.

And that’s what I try to offer now.

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🌿 Presence Over Performance Over time, I’ve come to see that it’s presence, not performance, that creates transformation. People can feel the difference between someone performing a role and someone simply being with them — authentically, imperfectly, and fully. What we all really want is human connection, not professional polish.

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💬 How I Show Up Now Because of what I experienced — or rather, what I lacked — I now tell the people I mentor things like:

• I don’t know all the answers, but we’ll find them together.

• I make mistakes too.

• Don’t worry — this can be fixed.

• I’m learning from you as much as you’re learning from me.

• How did that explanation land with you?

These aren’t just nice things to say — they’re healing. They create psychological safety — the very thing I once needed and couldn’t find.

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🌱 The Seed That Grew Looking back, that season of loneliness shaped me more than any training ever could. It taught me that people don’t grow because they’re pushed.They grow when they’re seen, heard, and held with care. That’s why, when someone tells me months later, “What you said stuck with me,” or “You made me feel like I mattered,” — I know we planted something together. Something that will keep growing long after we’ve stopped working together.

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🌻 You’re Not Just Teaching — You’re Planting When you mentor someone — or lead, or support — you’re not just delivering information.You’re planting seeds.And sometimes those seeds grow silently.Sometimes they bloom years later.Sometimes you’ll never see the result.But the presence you offer… it stays.

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🧭 What Will You Be Remembered For?People may forget your tools.They may outgrow your advice.But they won’t forget how you made them feel.That’s what creates transformation.That’s what creates legacy.That’s how we plant seeds that last.

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👣 A Gentle Invitation If you’re in a position to guide, support, or mentor someone -remember what it felt like when you didn’t have that.And show up the way you once needed someone to show up for you.That alone can change everything.